Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Two more blogs to check out

Team My Little Pony - For the most up to date retarded ass death stories
Team Post Killing Ninja - for car stuff... probably

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Vadim Rasputin - Law Doctor Bear: curing crime with great justice. Pilot Episode: The African Blood Pear Border Incident

Vad - hmmmm
I was supposed to get a bonus
and got a pear
I mean
it was a good pear
nothing against the pear
one of these
but a 20% bonus would have been welcome
so, they just buy and flip?
and not only in MA?

Chapel - yeah

Vad - I can do that... I scout properties for fun
and there's always an upside
I just don't have the cash

Chapel - do you have an MBA or something?

Vad - no MBA
2 BAs and a JD

Chapel - what's a JD?

Vad - that's how you become a lawyer
Juris Doctor
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juris_Doctor

Benicio - you got a pear as a bonus?

Vad - yes
a pear
not that it was a bad pear, mind you
I stress this

Chapel - so... A JD is a good thing?
lol... Vad - LAW DOCTOR

Nyte lol

Chapel - damn dude... just go to Quinn Martin Productions and get a TV show...

Vad - lol
JD is good thing yes...
If your law is sick, I can cure it

Chapel - holy shit, you write your own tag lines...

Vad - are you referring to my TV show's tagline?

Chapel - how does this not work as a law procedural TV show
Vadim Rasputin - Law Doctor...

Vad - How about a show about a JD/MD?

Chapel - If your law is sick, he'll cure it... WITH JUSTICE

Vad - lol

Chapel - Mondays at 10pm on NBC

Vad - write a treatment
I'll expand it
and we'll pitch it

Tanback - wtf?
shes like 9 yo

Vad - 9 years old?
That's a problem for my show
I'll solve it
WITH JUSTICE!

Tanback - cure it you mean

Vad - right
fuck
FUUUCK
:(

Tanback - you don't solve a cold

Vad - there go the ratings
no wonder I only got a pear

Tanback - damn you were so close
i once had a pear confiscated by border patrol

Chapel - why didn't you just eat the pear?

Vad - hahahahahah

Chapel - I think that should be an option...
if you get stopped at the border
for fruit, vegatables, etc...
you should have the option to 'eat it'

Vad - I am LOLing
so hard
hahahahahahaa

Tanback - nope they wanted it

Vad - OH WOW
+10 for Jared
maybe they ate the pear
holy shit, that's so Seinfeld
or Larry David

Tanback - True story

Vad - dude
I am writing this down

Tanback - when i was coming back from Canada

Chapel – “we're gonna need the pear”
“... but... what if I eat it right now?”
“nope... we need the pear.”
“but... I'll just eat it and shit it out later.”
maybe that's the problem... they don't want your canadian pear shit in our country

Tanback - they stopped the van i was driving

Vad - hhahahahahahahhahahaha
 hahhahahahaahahahahahahaha
I am dying here
DYING!

Tanback - 1/2 hour later they came to me

Chapel - I mean, I can understand like... a bushel of pears
or a truckful of pears

Tanback - "sir step outside the building please"
"um okay"

Chapel - but like... "excuse me sir, that ONE pear... we're gonna need to take that"
and by that we mean... THAT ONE PEAR

Tanback - "Sir are you the driver of this vehicle?"
"yeah"
"Is this your pear?"
"yeah"
"You know this is contaband in the US?"
"nahhhhh?"
"Sir this is a South African pear. These are not to be allowed into US territories."
"Uh"
"I'm going to have to confiscate this from you"
"uh okay"
"Have a safe trip and welcome to the USA"

Chapel - oh, well you didn't say anything about an apartheid pear...
I can't help you there

Vad - hahahaahahahahahahahah
hahahahahaha

Chapel - No Pears for blood

Vad - ok, how do I go about contacting Larry David?

Benicio - that dude was hungry
he made that shit up
south african pear
south africa doesn't even talk to canadians
or the US
I don't think they even have pears

Tanback - i have no idea how i got ahold of the pear in the first place
it was just on the center console
it was around lunchtime........

Chapel - this is a case for... Law Bear
oh wait, shit... no... now we're pitching a cartoon
oh wait a minute.
wait just a god damned minute

Vad - lol
hahhaah
fuck

Chapel - A children's law procedural cartoon

Vad - this is horrible for work
Law Bear?

Chapel - No no, we keep the name

Vad - nice!

Nyte - aww no.. law bear works lol

Chapel - but you're now a cartoon bear

Vad - He's an ex-Soviet Immigrant with a Passion for saving laws!
Law Bear!

Chapel - a russian cartoon law doctor bear
god damnit, all of this is going on my live journal